Pushing Me Away Always
by Hail-Knight
Summary: A friend of Shino's is having troubles keeping her feelings locked inside of her. However, Shino calls her on her distant attitude and begs her to stop. OCxShino


_Smile. Smile. Keep smiling, _Iliana repeated over and over in her head. She was hanging out with her friends, Kiba, Hinata, and Shino. The seventeen year old had realized her true feelings for the mysterious bug boy a few years ago when she was fourteen. But she didn't want to risk their friendship. Besides, she was only fourteen, so she figured she would get over her feelings. Three years later, she still felt the same loving feelings for the bug boy and wondered if she would ever get over them. It took all of her self control to keep the smile on her face and look as if nothing was wrong. _Smile. Keep smiling. Smile. Keep smiling. Don't let them see that something's wrong, _she thought, trying to keep the smile plastered to her face.

"Hey, Iliana?" Kiba asked gaining the girl's attention. She looked at his worried expression and wondered if he had seen through her mask. "Are you okay? You seem kind of . . . out of it."

"Oh! Yeah! I'm fine!" she smiled and looked at the food that was placed in front of her. She wasn't actually hungry, but she had to eat something sometime. All the thoughts that rushed through her mind confused her to a point where she lost her appetite. There was no denying it - she was confused; _very _confused. She had never felt these feelings for anybody. It was all new to her.

"A-are you s-sure?" Hinata stuttered. Iliana nodded and took a bite of her food. It didn't taste as good as she thought it would. She was definitely losing interest in food altogether. She pushed the bowl away.

"Actually, I'm kind of tired. I think I'm going to go home and rest," she stood up and didn't wait for a reply from her friends. The Hidden Leaf Village was a peaceful place as soon as evening hit. Silence filled the streets as people disappeared into their houses. She didn't actually head home. Instead, she walked around enjoying the cool air and silent night.

Hours later, she actually headed home. The moon shone brightly through the trees as she walked through the forest. She regretted moving into such a secluded house. "Iliana?" a smooth, deep voice spoke from behind her. She would have panicked if she hadn't known that voice so well.

"Yeah, Shino?" she asked turning to face the mysterious boy.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. Did you come all this way to ask me that?"

"No."

"So what _did _you come all this way for?"

"You've been different around me. You're always forcing a smile; forcing yourself to look happy."

Iliana froze. He had seen through her mask? Well, he was smart after all. "What are you talking about? That's not true," she scoffed, not looking at him.

"Do you not like me anymore?"

"What would make you say that?"

"We used to be so close. You used to look at me. But _now_ . . . now you avoid me. Iliana . . . why?" he asked stepping closer to her. She could hear the hurt in his voice and it hurt her to know that he was hurting. She hadn't meant to hurt him. In fact, she didn't think he would notice or see she had changed. Her gaze rested on him and she stepped towards him.

"Shino, I'm sorry. If I had known that I'd been hurting you, I would have stopped. I wish you had told me sooner. I hate to see you hurting."

"But why have you been acting . . . _different_? What's changed?"

"A lot, Shino. We've grown and are no longer kids. Everything changes when people grow up."

"I know things change as people grow, but we have been friends since we were toddlers. It didn't matter if we were opposites; we were still close. Do you not want to be friends anymore?"

"No! No! That's not it at all, Shino!"

"Then what is it?"

"I've . . . just been having . . . a hard time lately. It's nothing to worry about," she started to walk again, only to be stopped by him gently grabbing her arm.

"Iliana, wait," he begged, but she pulled her arm away.

"I'm tired, Shino. I have to get home. Don't worry about me." Iliana heard his arm drop to his side and sighed. Every time she tried to make it seem as if nothing was wrong, she hurt him. What was wrong with her? She turned and fortunately, he was still standing there. "Shino-"

"What's going on? Why have you been having a hard time?"

"I just . . . I have these feelings for this boy," she trailed off looking away from the confused boy.

"And?"

"Well, I've known him for a long time and . . . I just don't want to risk our friendship," she whispered taking a few steps towards him.

He stepped towards her as well. "And if he feels the same?"

"I wish he did." They both continued to walk towards each other.

"Maybe he does."

"We've been friends forever. How would he feel something more than that?"

"You're different than any other girl. You don't run because it doesn't gross you out."

"Mm. No, it doesn't gross me out. It's what makes you so . . . different and special."

"How I wonder how you grew to love me."

"How could I not? You're sweet, kind, and you actually listen."

"I listen because I care," he had gently pushed her against a nearby tree. His voice was low and smooth as he spoke. She raised her hands to unbutton his coat, but decided against it. "Go ahead."

His hands rested on either side of her head. She raised her hands again and didn't stop as she went to unbutton his coat. His mouth was slightly opened and his breath blew onto her face, dazing her. He smelled sweet, and she wondered if he tasted as good as he smelled. Her hands traveled up his neck and cheeks softly. She hesitated at his glasses, but he made no attempt to stop her, so she carefully slid them off. Dark brown eyes stared back at her; they almost looked black. He took the glasses from her, slipping them in his pocket, not once taking his eyes off her. Her hands made their way to the back of his neck as his made their way down to her waist. And after a few moments of looking at each other, their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss. Their lips molded against each other's perfectly as if they were meant to fit together. Shino pressed his body tighter against hers and kissed her harder. Iliana sighed and opened her mouth slightly at the same time Shino did and their tongues met. They broke apart when their lungs started to ache, demanding air.

"Please stop pushing me away and be with me," Shino breathed.

Iliana took a minute to catch her breath. "Always," she whispered nuzzling his neck. She no longer had to keep telling herself to smile or worry about keeping her face composed.


End file.
